Litgutsab is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, conceited swallow.

Litgutsab created the solar system five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Litgutsab, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Litgutsab, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Litgutsab's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Litgutsab's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.

2. Never paint your face purple.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.