Nilfadxuck is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, loving monkey.

Nilfadxuck created a Higgs boson two million years ago.

If you believe in Nilfadxuck, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Nilfadxuck, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Nilfadxuck's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Nilfadxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your feet purple.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Erect a large gold sculpture of Nilfadxuck on top of all buildings.

4. Do not hurt horses.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.