Cablandut is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, awe-inspiring octopus.

Cablandut created the Andromeda Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cablandut, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cablandut, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Cablandut's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Cablandut's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. Never skip in holy places.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Run away if three shrews approach from the south.

5. Always obey Cablandut's priests.