Jopsugfab is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, emotional chicken.

Jopsugfab created parasitic wasps six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jopsugfab, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Jopsugfab, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Jopsugfab's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Jopsugfab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat onions.

2. Erect a large copper sculpture of Jopsugfab on top of all buildings.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not stand on grass.