Sugdapsis Vogfiddoss is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, calm hamster.

Sugdapsis Vogfiddoss created gold six million years ago.

If you believe in Sugdapsis Vogfiddoss, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Sugdapsis Vogfiddoss, she will curse you with boils.

Sugdapsis Vogfiddoss' most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Sugdapsis Vogfiddoss' Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three squirrels approach from the south.

2. Never go into green rooms.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.

4. Do not eat gooseberries.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.