Cumhadtof is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, almighty raven.

Cumhadtof created Mount Everest four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cumhadtof, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Cumhadtof, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Cumhadtof's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Cumhadtof's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silver sculpture of Cumhadtof on top of all buildings.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Cumhadtof must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never write about gravity.