Ripzimpog is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, unjust hippopotamus.

Ripzimpog created an electron five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ripzimpog, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Ripzimpog, he will manifest in front of you.

Ripzimpog's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Ripzimpog's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always obey Ripzimpog's priests.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Ripzimpog.