Wityarlab is a god.

He takes the form of a large, staggering hedgehog.

Wityarlab created a strange quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wityarlab, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Wityarlab, he will turn you into a worm.

Wityarlab's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Wityarlab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never write about planets.

3. Never sing in the presence of frogs.

4. Wityarlab loves tapirs, so they must be honoured.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Wityarlab.