Citwodvolgod is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, dishonest gorilla.

Citwodvolgod created the planet Mars four years ago.

If you believe in Citwodvolgod, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Citwodvolgod, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Citwodvolgod's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Citwodvolgod's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always pray immersed in water.