Tettinurlrip is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, compassionate hedgehog.

Tettinurlrip created light six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tettinurlrip, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tettinurlrip, he will turn you into a duck.

Tettinurlrip's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Tettinurlrip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never go into purple rooms.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not wear pink clothing.

5. Always look after injured sheep.