Kannilcep is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, sage cow.

Kannilcep created viruses seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kannilcep, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Kannilcep, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Kannilcep's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Kannilcep's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into orange rooms.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Hide from black pigs for they are unholy.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not dye your hair purple.