Cingardob is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, duplicitous lobster.

Cingardob created the Large Magellanic Cloud six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cingardob, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Cingardob, he will turn you into a snail.

Cingardob's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Cingardob's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate sharks.

3. Monkeys are not to be trusted.

4. Never feed carrots to capybaras while wearing purple dresses.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate otters.