Loopspagpit is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, happy skunk.

Loopspagpit created the universe three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Loopspagpit, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Loopspagpit, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Loopspagpit's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Loopspagpit's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.