Sadtadham is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, grumpy swan.

Sadtadham created humanity four million years ago.

If you believe in Sadtadham, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Sadtadham, she will turn you into a plant.

Sadtadham's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Sadtadham's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your arms magenta.

2. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never jump in holy places.