Xinmetgun Bimflatvig is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, effective elephant.

Xinmetgun Bimflatvig created light four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xinmetgun Bimflatvig, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Xinmetgun Bimflatvig, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Xinmetgun Bimflatvig's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Xinmetgun Bimflatvig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always help seals in need.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never mention ducks.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.