Tenyatqueegarmfattarpnak is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, slow finch.

Tenyatqueegarmfattarpnak created everything that exists two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tenyatqueegarmfattarpnak, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tenyatqueegarmfattarpnak, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Tenyatqueegarmfattarpnak's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Tenyatqueegarmfattarpnak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not eat parsnips.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Hide from turquoise monkeys for they are unholy.

5. Retreat if eight capybaras approach from the east.