Nurtvilbif is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, overgenerous cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Nurtvilbif created Mount Everest two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurtvilbif, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nurtvilbif, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Nurtvilbif's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Nurtvilbif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your arms.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Always help mice in need.

5. Always treat goats with great respect.