Nurtvilbif is a god.
He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, overgenerous
cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.
Nurtvilbif created Mount Everest two thousand years ago.
If you believe in
Nurtvilbif, he will be happy.
If you do not believe in
Nurtvilbif, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.
Nurtvilbif's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.
Nurtvilbif's Holy Commandments1. Do not shave your arms.
2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.
3. Do not stand on grass.
4. Always help mice in need.
5. Always treat goats with great respect.