Gofsiscad is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, witless slug.

Gofsiscad created carbon three million years ago.

If you believe in Gofsiscad, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gofsiscad, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Gofsiscad's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Gofsiscad's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four porpoises approach from the east.

2. Always obey Gofsiscad's priests.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Always treat pigs with great respect.

5. Hide from gray mice for they are unholy.