Hancapmut is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, awe-inspiring bear.

Hancapmut created Asia eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hancapmut, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Hancapmut, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Hancapmut's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Hancapmut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat lentils.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sheep.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Hide from gray doves for they are unholy.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.