Satqueeggan is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, tranquil cat.

Satqueeggan created tapeworms five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Satqueeggan, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Satqueeggan, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Satqueeggan's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Satqueeggan's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Always help frogs in need.

3. Put Satqueeggan first in all things.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

5. Never write about comets.