Cimkimlog is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, sage porpoise.

Cimkimlog created the Sun three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cimkimlog, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cimkimlog, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Cimkimlog's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Cimkimlog's Holy Commandments

1. Always help snails.

2. Never mention aardvarks.

3. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Cimkimlog on top of all buildings.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. You must pray to Cimkimlog six times a day.