Artarplig is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, all-knowing bear.

Artarplig created vertebrates four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Artarplig, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Artarplig, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Artarplig's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Artarplig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always wear blue.

4. Do not eat apples.

5. Do not drink alcohol.