Femzenbess is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, uncaring spider.

Femzenbess created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Femzenbess, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Femzenbess, it will turn you into a mouse.

Femzenbess' most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Femzenbess' Holy Commandments

1. Never eat coconuts.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Swans are not to be trusted.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never talk about squirrels.