Figvilcimbed is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, generous warg.

Figvilcimbed created the planet Mars eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Figvilcimbed, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Figvilcimbed, she will send minions to preach to you.

Figvilcimbed's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Figvilcimbed's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Never eat turnips.

4. Never think ill of sick bats.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.