Flamsitnil is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, stupid fly.

Flamsitnil created gold eight million years ago.

If you believe in Flamsitnil, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Flamsitnil, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Flamsitnil's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Flamsitnil's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flamsitnil.

2. Never mention great tits.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never write about comets.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.