Bopnurtlarn is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, all-knowing skunk.

Bopnurtlarn created tapeworms four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bopnurtlarn, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bopnurtlarn, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Bopnurtlarn's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Bopnurtlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bopnurtlarn.

2. Bopnurtlarn must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not take Bopnurtlarn's name in vain.

5. Always stare at clouds.