Watgemstik is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, sapient deer.

Watgemstik created tapeworms three million years ago.

If you believe in Watgemstik, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Watgemstik, she will turn you into a mouse.

Watgemstik's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Watgemstik's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear trousers.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate squirrels.

3. Always help sick mice.

4. Do not laugh in public.

5. Do not take Watgemstik's name in vain.