Stantofcet is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, clever dugong.

Stantofcet created life nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stantofcet, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Stantofcet, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Stantofcet's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Stantofcet's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Stantofcet.

2. Always wear brown.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not eat bananas.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.