Mipminmap Omtshavtammip is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, charitable wombat.

Mipminmap Omtshavtammip created tapeworms two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mipminmap Omtshavtammip, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Mipminmap Omtshavtammip, she will turn you into a rat.

Mipminmap Omtshavtammip's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Mipminmap Omtshavtammip's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never mention ants.

3. Never talk about comets.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Mipminmap Omtshavtammip.