Hatpidkan is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, unjust bee.

Hatpidkan created the universe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Hatpidkan, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hatpidkan, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Hatpidkan's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Hatpidkan's Holy Commandments

1. Hatpidkan must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

4. Retreat if five doves approach from the east.

5. Do not hurt dogs.