Rultalzog is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, calm narwhal.

Rultalzog created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rultalzog, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Rultalzog, she will jump up and down on your head.

Rultalzog's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Rultalzog's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate manatees.

2. Do not dye your hair brown.

3. You must pray to Rultalzog four times a day.

4. Always help dolphins.

5. Always treat turtles with great respect.