Hitbumzen is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, deceitful rat.

Hitbumzen created the world four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hitbumzen, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Hitbumzen, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Hitbumzen's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Hitbumzen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always help otters in need.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never eat rice.