Stiggemren Afparkjin is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, happy eagle.

Stiggemren Afparkjin created the Sombrero Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Stiggemren Afparkjin, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Stiggemren Afparkjin, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Stiggemren Afparkjin's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Stiggemren Afparkjin's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Stiggemren Afparkjin.

2. Never eat bread.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Never run in the presence of squirrels.