Funhiv is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, idiotic meerkat.

Funhiv created the Tadpole Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Funhiv, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Funhiv, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Funhiv's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Funhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no pigs in a room before entering it.

2. Never look at planets.

3. Erect seven carbon sculptures of Funhiv on top of important buildings.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not stand on grass.