Somkipbap is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, two-faced bee.

Somkipbap created gold seven million years ago.

If you believe in Somkipbap, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Somkipbap, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Somkipbap's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Somkipbap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair cyan.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Always wear violet.