Quimlattin is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, passionate otter.

Quimlattin created bats eight million years ago.

If you believe in Quimlattin, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Quimlattin, he will boil you in a big pot.

Quimlattin's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Quimlattin's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick sheep.

2. Badgers are not to be trusted.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Quimlattin loves capybaras, so they must be respected.

5. Always obey Quimlattin's priests.