Sugquamstig is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, sage guinea pig.

Sugquamstig created bats six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sugquamstig, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Sugquamstig, he will refuse to believe in you.

Sugquamstig's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Sugquamstig's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never paint your feet fawn.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not shave your back.