Lipstigmad is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, witty fly.

Lipstigmad created snails six million years ago.

If you believe in Lipstigmad, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Lipstigmad, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Lipstigmad's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Lipstigmad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick monkeys.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not take Lipstigmad's name in vain.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Lipstigmad.

5. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.