Larnsafkarkin is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, cheerful frog.

Larnsafkarkin created a bottom quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnsafkarkin, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Larnsafkarkin, it will destroy your favourite star.

Larnsafkarkin's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Larnsafkarkin's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat strawberries.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Run away from blue birds, for they are unholy.

4. Hide if nine badgers approach from the east.

5. Never mention hamsters.