Betxinnatvenman is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, amazing tortoise.

Betxinnatvenman created Africa five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Betxinnatvenman, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Betxinnatvenman, he will be mildly annoyed.

Betxinnatvenman's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Betxinnatvenman's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if seven porpoises approach from the south.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never sit in holy places.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.