Kapjenpin is a god.

It takes the form of a small, omnipotent meerkat.

Kapjenpin created oxygen three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kapjenpin, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Kapjenpin, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Kapjenpin's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Kapjenpin's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Grasshopers are not to be trusted.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never talk about fire.