Gilnutxuck is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, self-assured tortoise.

Gilnutxuck created an electron three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gilnutxuck, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Gilnutxuck, he will come to you in dreams.

Gilnutxuck's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Gilnutxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.

2. Do not speak about peas.

3. Put Gilnutxuck first in all things.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not drink alcohol.