Tarpvadlib is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, compassionate pig.

Tarpvadlib created Asia four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpvadlib, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tarpvadlib, he will turn you into a mole.

Tarpvadlib's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Tarpvadlib's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no dogs in a building before entering it.

2. Do not dye your hair violet.

3. Retreat if four aardvarks approach from the west.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Always make sure there are no sharks in a room before entering it.