Quarttapgar is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, humorless mongoose.

Quarttapgar created a bottom quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quarttapgar, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Quarttapgar, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Quarttapgar's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Quarttapgar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear pink clothing.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Mites are not to be trusted.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.