Babcubcud is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, unjust fly.

Babcubcud created tapeworms six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Babcubcud, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Babcubcud, he will turn you into a puffin.

Babcubcud's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Babcubcud's Holy Commandments

1. Put Babcubcud first in all things.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not shave your chest.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. You must pray to Babcubcud nine times a day.