Fubfligcuss is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, stupid clam.

Fubfligcuss created snails seven million years ago.

If you believe in Fubfligcuss, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fubfligcuss, it will turn you into a dog.

Fubfligcuss' most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Fubfligcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never talk about asteroids.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never feed grapes to horses while wearing green jumpers.

5. Never jump in holy places.