Damparkquaf is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, proud shrew.

Damparkquaf created the Black Eye Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Damparkquaf, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Damparkquaf, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Damparkquaf's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Damparkquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Damparkquaf's name in vain.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never look at planets.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Damparkquaf.

5. Never mention rats.