Bitstiksom is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, benevolent clam.

Bitstiksom created a bottom quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bitstiksom, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bitstiksom, it will curse you with boils.

Bitstiksom's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Bitstiksom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not laugh in public.

2. Never run in the presence of great tits.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not stand on grass.