Fadwonvonk is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, blissful crane.

Fadwonvonk created the Tadpole Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fadwonvonk, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fadwonvonk, it will laugh at you.

Fadwonvonk's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Fadwonvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Horses are not to be trusted.

3. Do not sing in public.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.