Appsadfem Wotbatkan is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, happy jaguar.

Appsadfem Wotbatkan created energy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Appsadfem Wotbatkan, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Appsadfem Wotbatkan, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Appsadfem Wotbatkan's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Appsadfem Wotbatkan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Put Appsadfem Wotbatkan first in all things.

4. Never hurt seals.

5. Never write about gravity.